cultivating & crashing

an organic collection of notes, observations, and thoughts

Tag: love

How to Stop Rushing Into Love

El NYTimes nos desea un feliz día de San Valentín.

“A fin de saber que es así, necesitarás ver qué tan buenos son ambos para lidiar con los desencantos. Los desencantos son inevitables, así que lo mejor es darlos por hecho. La confianza como pareja se logra dependiendo de cómo enfrenten la decepción.”


love is not a potato

Estoy aprendiendo, paulatinamente, que el amor no es una papa.

Madre Teresa via Panchito

No se puede amar si no es a costo propio.

Falsificadores abstenerse

sólo se recibe amor
no se aceptan copias
por perfectas que parezcan
falsificadores abstenerse

Plástico cruel

asking too much

i want somebody who sees the pointlessness
and still keeps their purpose in mind
i want somebody who has a tortured soul
some of the time
i want somebody who will either put out for me
or put me out of misery
or maybe just put it all to words
and make me go, you know
i never heard it put that way
make me say, what did you just say?

i want somebody who can hold my interest
hold it and never let it fall
someone who can flatten me with a kiss
that hits like a fist
or a sentence, that stops me like a brick wall
if you hear me talking
listen to what i’m not saying
if you hear me playing guitar
listen to what i’m not playing
and don’t ask me to put words
to all the silences i wrote
don’t ask me to put words
to all the spaces between notes
in fact if you have to ask, forget it
do and you’ll regret it
i’m tired of being the interesting one
i’m tired of having fun for two
just lay yourself on the line
and i might lay myself down by you
but don’t sit behind your eyes
and wait for me to surprise you
i want somebody who can make me
scream until it’s funny
give me a run for my money
i want someone who can
twist me up in knots
tell me, for the woman who has everything
what have you got?
i want someone who’s not afraid of me
or anyone else
in other words i want someone
who’s not afraid of themself

Turns out I wasn’t asking too much.


Qui aime bien, châtie bien.

I learned this phrase from Chroniques de Jérusalem, where the author remarks on how harsh Israeli journalists are of their government. I like the phrase and the concept: in order to be constructive and to promote growth in the right direction, it is important to revise, to correct as you go.

Masters of Love

Notes from this article in the Atlantic, because every relationship (romantic or otherwise) needs these things. Corroborates other research on supportive rather than authoritative parenting.

– turn toward partner at every bid
– scan social environment for things to appreciate + say thank you for
– scan partner for what s/he is doing right, respecting + showing appreciation
– think of kindness as a muscle — good relationships require sustained hard work
– inform expression of anger by kindness
– be generous about partner’s intentions (give benefit of doubt)
– appreciate the intent, even if poorly executed
– practice active constructive responding to positive news

Camila O’Gorman

Voy a morir, y el amor que me arrastró al suplicio seguirá imperando en la naturaleza toda. Recordarán mi nombre, mártir o criminal, no bastará mi castigo a contener una sola palpitación en los corazones que sientan.

Camila O’Gorman, 1848

“Find what you love”


The power of vulnerability

This talk is one of the most meaningful things I’ve come across in the past few months. The message it conveys is one that is well suited to everyone’s life at every moment; for me right now it speaks to my feeling so scared and stuck with a lot of my family, many of whom I haven’t spoken to in years. It also speaks to what I want to do in my relationship with Mike, where there is so much at stake, so many thorny issues to lean into, and so much to create and love.