cultivating & crashing

an organic collection of notes, observations, and thoughts

Category: treasures

happy daddy issues day

Intimacy

I just spent a little while with my family. I was constantly surrounded by family members, much of the time many of us piled on top of each other or congregating together on the same bed or couch. All around lovely.

Things I touched in those two weeks:

1 mouse (dead)
1 bee (subcutaneously)
1 exhaust pipe (ouch)
2 stink bugs
2 big dogs
3 beds
9 humans with whom I share DNA

And two things I loved from how Clelia speaks:
“ogni modo”
“sorelina”

No hay mejor cosa

en este mundo que los monólogos de Violencia Rivas.

Badass

I have never watched the Olympics and never felt I was missing anything. But today I somehow saw one clip of a paralimpics race and, two hours later, I have run the gamut of intense emotions: awed, humbled, elated, moved to the point of sloppy, hot, free-flowing tears. Such an incredible sight to see mortals push the limits of their bodies and their minds when half of their limbs are missing or paralyzed. How radiant is the flash of determination and focus in these weathered, beautiful faces. How refreshing to see in physical form what we all are inside: different shapes and abilities, and making clever modifications and almost superhuman efforts to strive toward a common goal.

Here is a video of some of the most badass women I will ever see in my life. I am grateful to be able to see what they do, to be able to hold them up as role models. I hope to remember these incredible women the every time I feel limited by myself or my circumstances.

Vintage data viz porn

“The commonality between science and art is in trying to see profoundly – to develop strategies of seeing and showing.”

Edward Tufte

 

I’ve just spent a a stupid amount of time admiring this collection of slopegraphs. Who thought train schedules could be mesmerizing?

 

Finally, some beauty for this Friday afternoon:

 

Minard

Napolean’s Russian campaign by Minard

 

Why are you lonely

Copied from the Toast.

WHY ARE YOU LONELY: CHOOSE ONE

  • FAILED TO NURTURE RELATIONSHIPS BORN OUT OF CONVENIENCE ONCE CHANGING CIRCUMSTANCES REQUIRED ACTIVE PARTICIPATION FROM YOU
  • WATCHED NETFLIX FOR SEVEN HOURS INSTEAD OF SLEEPING BECAUSE YOU HAVE ONCE AGAIN MISTAKEN INERTIA FOR REST
  • CONFUSED “SELF-CARE” WITH “SELF-INDULGENCE” AGAIN; YOU ARE INCAPABLE OF EXPERIENCING GENUINE REFRESHMENT OR RESTORATION BUT YOU DO SPEND A LOT OF MONEY AT NAIL SALONS
  • ONCE AGAIN CONFUSED “EMPATHY” FOR “TAKING RESPONSIBILITY” AND INVITED OTHERS TO UNLOAD THEIR EMOTIONAL BURDENS ON YOU WITHOUT FIRST ENSURING RECIPROCITY, WHOOPS
  • ANTICIPATORILY BLAMED OTHER PEOPLE FOR NOT CALLING YOU WITHOUT ONCE ASKING YOURSELF WHY YOU CAN’T CALL THEM
    • ASSUMING ANY TIME SPENT TOGETHER THAT YOU HAD TO INITIATE IS SOMEHOW LESS AUTHENTIC THAN REQUESTS FOR TIME SPENT TOGETHER THAT YOU ACCEPT
  • BELIEVE “PERIODICALLY EXPERIENCING THE HUMAN CONDITION” MEANS SOMETHING IS FUNDAMENTALLY BROKEN WITHIN YOU
  • CONSTANTLY LIE ABOUT YOUR FEELINGS THEN WONDER WHY YOU FEEL LIKE NO ONE KNOWS YOU
  • MISTAKENLY BELIEVE THAT NEGATIVE FEELINGS MUST BE MISTAKES EITHER TO BE AVOIDED OR FIXED RATHER THAN EXPERIENCED
  • DESIRE TO BE FULLY UNDERSTOOD WITHOUT THE CONCOMITANT WILLINGNESS TO FULLY EXPLAIN YOURSELF
  • BELIEVE TRYING AT SOMETHING A LITTLE BIT SHOULD RESULT IN INSTANT PERFECTION AND FIND YOURSELF HORRIFIED AND ASHAMED OF MAKING REALISTIC PROGRESS
  • TRY COCONUT OIL
  • CONVINCED THAT HONESTLY ADMITTING YOUR PROBLEMS WILL DRIVE PEOPLE AWAY BECAUSE NO ONE LIKES COMPLAINING SO INSTEAD YOU OFFER EVERYONE A PISS-POOR SIMULACRUM OF BEING EASY-GOING
  • STILL JUST WAITING FOR THINGS TO HAPPEN TO YOU INSTEAD OF EXPRESSING YOUR DESIRES ALOUD
  • THINK YOU’RE BEING PLAYFUL BUT ACTUALLY YOU JUST GET MEAN WHEN YOU DRINK
  • SPEND ALL YOUR TIME SAYING THINGS LIKE “EITHER’S GOOD” OR “DOESN’T MATTER TO ME” WHEN IN FACT ONLY ONE THING IS GOOD AND IT DOES MATTER TO YOU BUT YOU THINK “NOT EXPRESSING A PREFERENCE” IS THE BEST PERSONALITY TRAIT YOU HAVE TO OFFER OTHERS
  • PEOPLE ACTUALLY MORE AWARE OF YOUR BARELY-CONCEALED CONTEMPT FOR THEIR CHOICES AND RELATIONSHIPS THAN YOU THINK THEY ARE
  • NO GOOD REASON, SORRY

עלייה ראשונה

My first aliyah, Bereshit 1:6-8, part of Simchat Torah.

aliyah simchat torah

Ik zit met een ei

I sit with an egg

You have to sit with the egg, which is uncomfortable, and commit to doing that in order for the egg to turn into a chicken, which is what you want. Otherwise, nothing will come of it.

Stolen from a DeviantArt page that no longer exists:

In Belgium we have an expression: “Ik zit met een ei.” Which literally means: “I’m sitting with an egg on my mind”.
The egg actually symbolizes an unborn idea or a problem you’re stuck with.
When the egg will hatch, remains the question.

חשוב

Today is an important day because it’s the day I first came across my dream job: field epidemiologist. And it’s the day that I found out that I can work for MSF without becoming a doctor.

I’m happy; I can go to sleep now. Or maybe start learning Arabic.

Honorer

Comment allez-vous honorer le corps qui vous appartient ?

I’m a bit weak on that point. I’d like to think I do a bit better in terms of honouring the mind I have.