cultivating & crashing

an organic collection of notes, observations, and thoughts

Category: notes

Temple of My Familiar

Carlotta’s heart was breaking. She felt it swell with tears and then crack. What does anyone know about anything? she thought. The scene with her mother emptied her of knowledge. Once again, as when she was a small child, she felt she knew nothing. That if the chair on which she sat suddenly became a canoe that floated out the window on the river of Zedé’s tears, she would not be surprised.

insomnia, gratitude

Thank you, Internet.

Harvard Health

Health Link BC

Madre Teresa via Panchito

No se puede amar si no es a costo propio.

Germs and guts

Recently I’ve become fascinated by our microbiomes. This comes as the weaving together of loose threads that have appeared in the few years since I developed gut problems following an extremely harsh round of antibiotics. I don’t have any background in anything related to microbiology or immunology, but I am now reading Living with Germs by John Playfair and am planning to read I Contain Multitudes by Ed Yong in hopes of learning more. In the interim, here is a video by the CBC that blew my mind. If anybody reading this has any suggestions, send them my way!


And it’s the ‘feeling we can’t cope’ that can lead us to avoid or delay important things.

If I change the things I do and change how I think, I will change how I feel.

«knowledge translation» de cambios positivos pos psicósis

  • ser sensible a los factores negativos, no negar lo que pueden estar sintiendo cuando más están sufriendo. una manera de hacer esto es de mostrar una variedad de experiencias y en distintos puntos de varias trayectorias. les puede ir un poquito bien no más — todas las experiencias son “ciertas”. el rango es más fiel a la realidad.
  • no crear esperanzas no realistas.

overheard in a psychiatric hospital

we can think of people “with mental illness” as people who reveal signs of distress in the face of a tough life and a crappy organization of society — they are canaries in the coal mine and we want that sensitivity. they are simply more sensitive to the world, to our shitty reality


«peer support»

  • creer en él, saber que yo puedo ayudar
  • escucharlo
  • preguntar qué es lo mejor para él
  • en qué sos bueno, en qué sos fuerte, cuales son tus debilidades
  • qué es lo que sos, qué es lo que hacés aparte de tener una enfermedad, porque la enfermedad es solamente una faceta de quién sos, no te define totalmente
  • puede ayudar tener un proyecto
  • respetar los tiempos de cada uno
  • apoyo u intervención constante y a largo plazo
  • “respect, shared responsibility and mutual agreement of what is helpful” (Mead, Hilton, Curtis 2001)

aspectos que desarollar

  • expresión creativa: arte visual, música, poesía
  • deporte y actividades sociales
  • alojamiento y empleo
  • familia y seres queridos

No me arrepiento

No me arrepiento de este amor
Aunque me cueste el corazón
Amar es un milagro y yo te amé
Como nunca jamás lo imaginé
Tiendo a arrancarme de tu piel
De tu mirada, de tu ser
Yo siento que la vida se nos va
Y que el día de hoy no vuelve más

Después de cerrar la puerta
Nuestra cama espera abierta
La locura apasionada del amor
Y entre un te quiero y te quiero
Vamos remontando al cielo
Y no puedo arrepentirme de este amor


Went to a concert last night at le Cabaret Lion d’Or last night where I saw some fantastic music of wildly different styles in Spanish, French, Creole, Korean, Inuktitut, and English.

I was blown away by each of the groups. I loved the beautiful singing and hybrid mariachi-rock music of Mariachi Ghost. Stella Gonis killed us with her voice, rhythm, and dancing. Coreyah is what I strongly suspect the Gogol Bordello of Korea and just plain COOL. The Jerry Cans were an infectious mix of traditional Canadian music sung in Inuktitut, accompanied with throat singing. And to finish off, Betty Bonifassi (whom I recognized from her vocals on DJ Champion’s Chill ’em all) sang her take on chain gang songs collected in 1950s US South by Alan Lomax.

The Mariachi Ghost (Mexico, Winnipeg)
Stella Gonis (Martinique)
Coreyah (Corea)
The Jerry Cans (Iqualuit)
Betty Bonifassi (Montreal’s own)

I have now decided to update my unrealistic of reading one book from every country in the world to instead listening to music from every country in the world. The books can maybe be a lifetime goal. Now I will have a good use for Every Noise at Once! Stay tuned for an upcoming listening party.