I’ve been told several times that, when I argue, I do so in a way that is more like dispassionate, professional litigation than like a friend trying to talk to another. The effect/reality this creates is that I’m an apathetic jerk who doesn’t actually give a fuck about the person I’m arguing with. I’ve also been told I picked it up from living with my dad, who demands a kind of cold precision in arguments, otherwise you lose.
At any rate, this is something that I find is important that I change. I want to argue like I have blood in my veins, to give space to the pained love that is the source of arguments. This means to change the character of what I say to be less teflon, less artificially right and more messy and honest.