cultivating & crashing

an organic collection of notes, observations, and thoughts


keep walking

I feel aimless, lost. Not sure where I am going and don’t know why I am even walking. Long days, weeks, and months of vague hurt beneath the stillness I can now achieve on the surface. But I know what helps is to keep moving, to keep rolling, waiting for time to pass, for wounds to scab over, for hard brittle blisters to yield to soft flexible skin. So I will trust this lesson and just keep walking.

18 nov 2016

learn how to be with people: self-efficacy, not control, but emphasize autonomy

hard for someone who had authoritative and authoritarian parenting, but let’s see if we can work it, anyway.


WaPo: The intersex rights movement is ready for its moment

I’ve long wondered about all the intersex people that must exist, wondered why this group was never even mentioned in the conversations of gender rights. As people who were born at different points along a wide and complex spectrum between heteronormative femaleness and maleness, their experiences provide a kind of counterfactual for the differences between trans and cis people. Their identities and desires could provide more context and flesh out our understanding of our genders and ourselves in a way that would benefit everyone, because the wish to reduce everyone into strict categories has very often been destructive to everyone involved.

In the interim, sick swag from intersex activist Pidgeon Pagonis.

Draft emails never sent

from early 2015. An interested one, and then a haughty one.

Hi Professor J,

I’ve been looking at this and wondering how it compares to WinBUGS in terms of the Gibbs sampling component.

From: Stata []
Sent: Wednesday, April 08, 2015 9:40 AM
Subject: (SCL > 6): Stata 14 is here. Ships today. Downloads today.

Stata release 14: Available now

We’ve got Bayesian analysis, IRT, Unicode, and so much more packed into our latest release. See what Stata 14 has to offer.

Bayesian analysis

Bayesian analysis is a statistical analysis that answers research questions about unknown parameters using probability statements. For example, what is the probability that the average male height is between 70 and 80 inches or that the average female height is between 60 and 70 inches? Or, what is the probability that …

Hi Prof. H,

Just one thing that I kept thinking about since the Q&A session: BIC analysis provides several pieces of information, one of them being a model average that is the optimized model for prediction. Another totally separate set of information it provides is an evaluation of posterior probabilities for each variable to be included in the model (ie, model selection). I think we said something that might have lead you to believe they’re the same thing, but that’s not the case.


I found out recently that hygge is exactly what I have always been going for in my little apartment. My favourite things really are snuggling up with my favourite people to eat homemade food by warm, dim lighting. I am displeased at myself for being very predictable (apparently it’s all the rage), but what I do like about it is that it emphasizes little, inexpensive pleasures rather than extravagant consumerism. Not to say that minimalism isn’t the new marker of upper middle class style, but there is something much nicer (read: more punk rock) in savouring the familiar instead of expending great energy to partake in the rare and elite.

But also, I found out I love chia seed pudding.

uh oh

idea for phd: learn how to apply rigorous epidemiology methods to small samples and imperfect data in mental health research

cannellini, el poroto argento?

Les fèves Cannellini sont apparentées à l’haricot. Aussi connues sous le nom de haricots blancs italiens ou Fasolia. Les fèves Cannellini ressemblent aux haricots en taille et en forme, mais ont une couleur blanc crème. Cette fève est de taille moyenne, en forme de rein, avec une écale dure. Le Cannellini a une légère saveur de noisette et une texture crémeuse. Les fèves de Cannellini sont associées à la cuisine italienne. La fève de Cannellini est similaire au grand haricot nordique, cependant, elles sont plus grandes et plus en forme de rein. Cette fève a été cultivée à l’origine en Argentine par les immigrants italiens et repris plus tard en Italie où elle est cultivée commercialement.

Source: CEDAR

never trust

never trust anyone that doesn’t have a realistic grasp of their own failings.

note to self: develop realistic grasp of my failings.

cata de yerbas

Anna Park: me encanta (orgánica)
Roapipó: bien (org)
Tratiju: bien
La Tranquera: me cae como una bomba, me hizo mierda el estómago
Cruz de Malta: ningún problema

próximamente probaré Pampa, también orgánica. la conseguí en Branche d’Olivier.

aguante el mate, carajo.